Oscars Nominations 2010 or There will be No Summer

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow but the Oscars say summer won’t be happening this year.

Earlier today the annual Oscar nominations were announced and while the usual suspects were there, read on, the biggest snub appeared to be the wonderful “(500) Days of Summer.” The funny thing is that this year the best picture nominations were increased to 10. Here’s the controversy, the animated film “Up” was also nominated to Best Animated Feature. Thus taking Summer’s place. The reason the best Animated Feature category was added was so that it wouldn’t have to compete with the Best Feature. Too often a great animated film was ignored for best feature. Shame on Oscar voters. It probably goes back to the reason comedies are never nominated.

Below are the big nominations:

Best Picture

Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Best Animated Feature

Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells
Up

Best Foreign Language Film

Ajami – Israel
El Secreto de Sus Ojos – Argentina
The Milk of Sorrow
Un Prophete
The White Ribbon – Germany

Best Adapted Screenplay

District 9
An Education
In the Loop
Precious
Up in the Air

Best Original Screenplay

The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
A Serious Man
Up

Best Director

Avatar – James Cameron
The Hurt Locker – Kathryn Bigelow
Inglourious Basterds – Quentin Tarantino
Precious – Lee Daniels
Up in the Air – Jason Reitman

Best Actor

Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart
George Clooney – Up in the Air
Colin Firth – A Single Man
Morgan Freeman – Invictus
Jeremy Renner – The Hurt Locker

Best Actress

Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side
Helen Mirren – The Last Station
Carey Mulligan – An Education
Gabourey Sidibe – Precious
Meryl Streep – Julie & Julia

Best Supporting Actor

Matt Damon – Invictus
Woody Harrelson – The Messenger
Christopher Plummer – The Last Station
Stanley Tucci – The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz – Inglourious Basterds

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz – Nine
Vera Farmiga – Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal – Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick – Up in the Air
Mo’Nique – Precious

It is never too early to start handicapping. Here are my early picks:

Best Picture – is between “Avatar,” “The Hurt Locker,” “Inglourious Basterds” and “Up in the Air.”

Best Animated Feature – “Up” in a cakewalk.

Best Foreign Language Film – Probably “The White Ribbon”

Best Adapted Screenplay – “Up in the Air”

Best Original Screenplay – This could be a horse race between “The Hurt Locker,” and “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Director – As the big prize goes, so goes the Best Director. This race is wide open with Bigelow as the early favorite.

Best Actor – If it’s a race it’s between Bridges and Firth. Renner is a dark horse at best.

Best Actress – Thanks to publicity it’s Bullock, Who will also win a Razzie for worst actress in “All About Steve.” Gaby Sidibe still has an outside chance.

Best Supporting Actor – The one sure thing this year is Waltz.

Best Supporting Actress – The other sure thing is Mo’Nique.

The Oscar telecast is Sunday, March 7, 2010 on ABC. It gives you a month to get your answer ready for the eternal question: “Who are you wearing?”

Holden

He railed against phonies. That was Holden Caulfield’s mission, to expose them. There are few things more righteous in this world.

I was introduced to him my freshman year at Roycemore Juvenile Reformatory School though the novel, “Catcher in the Rye.” His words rang true in 1979 when I was 15-years-old and he was two years older. They still do in 31 years later.

Of course Holden wasn’t real; he was the brain child of Jerome David (J.D.) Salinger. He died yesterday at the cantankerous age of 91-years-old. He spent that last 56 years as a recluse in Cornish, NH.

More has been written about Salinger than any other 20^th Century American author. He wrote professionally for 26 years and his output was something Stephen King could produce in a long weekend. One novel, two books, two novellas, nine short stories collected, and 19 stories uncollected are all Salinger wrote. There may be more in a vault, only time will tell if there is and if we will ever read them.

When the news broke yesterday, I went to Amazon.com to check the bestsellers list. Catcher in the Rye was #676. At 5:00 p.m. it was #24. At 7:00 p.m. it was #12. At 11:00 a.m. today it was number one. Not bad for a book that has never been out of print, is available at your public library and has been banned almost as long as it has been published, 1951.

It is estimated that the book has sold over 65 million copies. That is rare air usually reserved for religious books, reference books and Miley Cyrus tell-all biographies. As far as fiction go, the only books that have out sold it are: “The Lord of the Rings,” “The Hobbit,” “Le Petit Prince” and “The DaVinci Code.” It has out sold every Stephen King and John Grissom novel. In addition, it has bested: “Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary,” “War and Peace,” “The Diary of Anne Frank” and “Gone with the Wind.”

I did a check of local libraries and found that the Gwinnett, Fulton and DeKalb libraries not only have all copies checked out but there is a waiting list of up to 25 requests. Raburn County, GA, has all six of its copies but they are kept behind glass with armed guard standing in front.

As popular as “Catcher in the Rye” is, it is also infamous. Between 1961 and 1982, it was the most censored book in high schools and libraries in the United States. In 1981, it was both the most censored book and the second most taught book in public schools in the United States. Most of the objections from the Christian right have to deal with – wait for it – obscenities! Oh the horror. I never heard the words “fuck” or “god damn” before I read this book. There are also, sit down for this, sexual references, blasphemy, the undermining of family values (I’m going to blog about that one day) and Holden being a poor role model due to drinking, rebellion, smoking, lying and promiscuity.

All of those seem tame in 2010. In fact my 16-year-old nephew Nathan partakes in all of this just about every day. I think my four and a half year-old nephew Aaron does too. In 1951, it was a different world and all this behavior, while going on, was not put in books. At least not books that kids may read.

When the book came out, Holden was not wholly a unique character. He was no more immoral than some in Dickens or Austen novels except his age was younger.

At one point or another, every teenage boy thinks of himself as Holden Caulfield. Most grow out of it. Some, no one in particular, have adopted the name when calling his gynecologist so she would know to take the call. (Long story, many scotch and sodas or frozen Daiquiris will be needed to explain it.) We all want to be unique and exterminate the phonies. Sadly, too many become the phonies they deplore. I hope in my life I would be considered unique and not a phony.

There are some similarities between us, we both went to prep school, he was thrown out and I tried my damnedest to get tossed. I was tossed out of my mom’s house a year after graduation that has to count right? In high school I was known as a “rebel with a cause.”  I set my own course much to my teachers chagrin.

Who is a phony and how does one become one?

It would be too easy to say anyone on the Christian right, so I won’t, but they are; so there. Politicians are the most blatant examples. Two who come to mind are John Edwards and Newt Gingrich. I couldn’t care less if you cheat on your wife, that’s your problem. What is phony is when you take the moral high ground and cheat on your wife. Another phony is Mark McGwire who finally admitted to taking steroids but claims it didn’t help him become a better hitter. Raoul Duke Jr. blogged about that a few posts ago. Religious leaders who extort money from gullible parishioners are definitely phonies. Salesmen, well maybe yes and maybe no. They are well aware that they are selling over-priced drek but they have to make a living too. Tech support people in India who say their name is John Smith are phonies. I guess it is a reality that some jobs will be in India forever but have some integrity and use your real first name. I won’t be offended if your name is Naresh. In fact I may listen to you more because you were being truthful at the beginning. HR people are phonies ‘true and true’. If you are trying to get a job they make sure you don’t. If you are in the company, they expedite your departure. No matter what they are always on the company’s side, like Jay Leno. He’s another story and a phony. Holden was also seen as a rebel. He inspired people like James Dean in “Rebel without a Cause,” Elvis Presley in his good movies and his overall persona, when he was thin, Marlon Brando in “The Wild Things,” Travis Bickle in “Taxi Driver” and Bret Easton Ellis in his public persona. Rock and roll by its definition is rebellious; it is designed to piss off your parents. People like Elvis, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Mick and Keith, Joe Strummer, Johnny Ramone, Kurt Cobain, Liz Phair and Joe Jonas all have varying degrees of Holden Caulfield in them. I think the message is lost though. Holden was a rebel but he was against the phonies. All those people in society who control everything and tell us what to do. If you look at all the problems this country is in you can trace it back to phonies; people who pretend to be one thing but are another. I am looking at you banking industry.

Maybe we should all take a cue from Holden and not deal with phonies. Cut them out of your life. Avoid them at all costs. Don’t become one. It’s not too late.

The State of the Union

On January 27, 2010, President Barack Obama stood in front of Congress, the Supreme Court Justices and the American public and said, “One year ago, I took office amid two wars, an economy rocked by severe recession, a financial system on the verge of collapse, and a government deeply in debt. Experts from across the political spectrum warned that if we did not act, we might face a second depression. So we acted – immediately and aggressively. And one year later, the worst of the storm has passed.”

“It is because of this spirit – this great decency and great strength – that I have never been more hopeful about America’s future than I am tonight. Despite our hardships, our union is strong.”

There was much applause.

What a load of horseshit!

Then again, every president; whoever held the office has said this. George W. Bush said it right after the attacks of 9/11 with the economy falling over a cliff. The first George H.W. Bush said it during the recession of 1991. Reagan said in 1982 as he was busy giving tax breaks to big companies hoping trickle-down economics would work on a stalled economy. Carter said it when America was held hostage and we had inflation and recession at the same time, an economic impossibility. Nixon said it while fighting Watergate corruption charges. FDR said it when banks were closing and half the country was walking the breadline. In 1887, Grover Cleveland said the same thing while at the same time decrying the high tariff rates devised to drive up consumer process.

President Obama explained how great things are but probably said “jobs’ about 54,256 different times. Thanks to a certain drinking game, I could not last through the whole thing. But jobs are important. When Obama took over the Unemployment rate was at 7.9%. As of today it’s at 10%. Figure another 5-8% are no longer looking and have dropped off the official ranks. That’s about 28 million people who don’t have a job, more than the population of Texas or 221 Alasakas, you bet’cha.

He stressed middle class job creation and that that Americans should strengthen their resolve and we will see it through together. Again, much applause.

Fox called it a lame duck speech by a lame duck president. MSNBC said it was the greatest speech since William Jennings Bryan’s “cross of gold” speech (I am still living of the √ ⁺⁺ I got in 11^th grade US History.)

What is the reality of America in the first year of the “Anointed One’s” watch? Two wars that don’t seem to have an ending. A recession that shows too few signs of recovery. Double-digit unemployment. Gas prices that are on the rise. Banks that refuse to give loans. AIG still handing out bonuses. No healthcare.

I have to admit I did not vote in the past election, I know, I’m a Chicago Democrat and I didn’t vote even once. Where I lived at that time was/is heavily republican, so much so that I was the only democrat in my precinct. Standing in line for three hours to vote for Obama would be pointless. He lost the district (66-35), county (54-44) and state (52-47). That is not to say I didn’t want him to win, even though he is a White Sox fan. When I was a cub reporter in Chicago, I knew Obama’s campaign manager, David Axelrod dating back to his days as spokesman for US. Senator Paul Simon.

I had high hopes for Obama. Like most of America, I wanted him to correct the horrible things done to our country by the previous administration. The eight years we had with W. were the worst since the Great Depression. At least during that time there weren’t any wars, not so under W.’s tenure.

In 2009, Obama was faced with a mountain of problems but he had a “super-majority” in the Senate and a 79 seat majority in the House. One would think that with those numbers he could get his plans going with little or no opposition, Except for one thing – Democrats are pussys! Even with the “super-majority,” they couldn’t get Health Care Reform passed. Then there was Senator Droopy Dog who threatened to start a filibuster and the Dems caved. When I was at Roycemore Juvenile Reformatory School I threatened to kick Steve Van Ryzin’s ass one day. The next day he affixed me to a tree with duct tape. The last filibuster in the Senate was in 1992, just when Windows 3.1 was released. It lasted 15 hours.

What has happened over the last year that shows that the union is indeed strong?

• There was that $800 million TARP Bailout was supposed to create 4-5 million jobs. No figures are available for actual jobs created. Estimates are TARP created or saved about 670,000 jobs. There is a big difference between creating a job and saving a job.
• The Making Homes Affordable Program was supposed to reduce mortgage payments for 50-75% of homeowners. So far the program has helped about 4.3%.
• Credit Card Reform was passed stopping credit card companies from randomly increasing your interest rate. That is a win.
• All this summer and into the fall, Health Care was the big thing. Remember the Tea Baggers? They were everywhere screaming at anyone with a camera that Obama Care would have Death Panels to kill us if we got sick. As shown above, one lone Senator with the charisma of a wet rag derailed Universal Health Care. These countries currently have some form of Universal Health Care: Norway, New Zealand, Japan, Germany, Belgium, United Kingdom, Kuwait, Sweden, Bahrain, Brunei, Canada, Netherlands, Austria, United Arab Emirates, Finland, Slovenia, Denmark, Luxembourg, France, Australia, Ireland, Italy, Portugal, Cyprus, Greece, Spain, South Korea, Iceland, Hong Kong, Singapore, Switzerland, and Israel. They also have one other thing in common; they can all beat us in soccer. As the Health Care Reform bills stand it will cover between 94-96% of the population. Though with the recent election in Massachusetts, the bill may die in the Senate, even with a majority of 59-41. As anyone who has taken Democrat math knows, 41 is always more powerful than 59.
• We still have the two wars going on: Afghanistan and Iraq. The Prez said he wants the troops to come home as the wars are ending. To show how it is ending there was a suicide bombing in Iraq that killed 18 people the other day. At least he didn’t stand under a sign that read “Mission Accomplished.” In the next few months, both fronts will have about 100,000 troops on the ground, an increase in Afghanistan for 30,000.
• Gitmo is still open, even though he said it was to be closed this week. But that was last year when he said it and he can’t be held responsible for things he said a year ago. I promised to keep this blog going a year ago and this is only the third piece I have done this year. Gitmo may actually close with the “detainees” being shipped to western Illinois. It is assumed they will die of boredom while there.

What is the overall grade at the 1^st year? I give him a rising B- (or a √-). He has tried hard to do something. W. was great at doing nothing and letting the chips fall where they may. For proof I will posit the vacation days W. took in his first year and compare that with those Obama took: 69 vs. 26. Then again to be fair, Bill Clinton left the country in pretty good shape in 2001. It was running on auto-pilot, only a functionally illiterate, ex-cokehead could screw it up. And that my friends, is called irony.

Have we hit bottom? Is the worst of the storm passed? On February 24, 2009 Obama said the worst was over. He boldly predicted, “Now is the time to act boldly and wisely – to not only revive this economy, but to build a new foundation for lasting prosperity.  Now is the time to jumpstart job creation, re-start lending, and invest in areas like energy, health care, and education that will grow our economy, even as we make hard choices to bring our deficit down.  That is what my economic agenda is designed to do, and that’s what I’d like to talk to you about tonight.”

Funny how he is saying the same thing about a year later too. Maybe he can’t see that the worst hasn’t happened. Maybe the money people around him care more about their corporate overlords than the people in this country who are struggling.

As we begin the second lap of Obama’s 1600m he needs to be bold and daring. He needs to clean house the Treasury because these guys are the reason we got into trouble and they have no interest in getting things going for us. Their interests lie in the banks they came from. It reminds me of that scene in “The Untouchables” when Sean Connery pulls a kid out of the academy to be on the team because he hasn’t been corrupted yet. Obama needs to do that with the Treasury “cause ‘dat’s da Chicago way.”

Memo from The Sports Desk: There’s No Crying in Baseball By Raoul Duke Jr.

Ed. Note: The following piece came over the Mojo Wire this morning. Due to time constraints and inadequate staffing, we could not edit all of Duke’s notes. We post it as is.

8:35 a.m. – editor called me up and said “get your lazy ass to St. Louis, McGwire is gonna tell all.”

Holy shit I thought, how does he know that those girls from last night were underage Indonesian drug mules. Damn this drive-by media.

“No you booze-addled blog hack, Big Mac is going to admit he used steroids.”

“But boss, is this news? What next, do you want me to cover Harry Reid saying that Prez Obama is black? Gimme a real assignment, one with a generous expense account and an open bar.”

My pleadings went nowhere and off I was to St. Louis to cover a non-event.

1:15 p.m. …usual press/sportswriters mingle near the PR table…full copy of Mac’s prepared words…swear that one flak is eyeballing me, doesn’t he know I always carry enough explosives to blow up half of downtown where ever I am?

(Ed. Note: Factual background on McGwire courtesy of Pure Gibberish Research Department.)

Mark McGwire was the first baseman for the Oakland A’s and St. Louis Cardinals from 1986-2001. In his rookie year with the A’s he hit a record 49 homers and won the Rookie of the Year award going away. He became part of the Bash Brothers with Jose Canseco, who later admitted to taking steroids and first implicated McGwire. Along the way Mac and the A’s won a World Series in 1989. During the series, an earthquake nearly wrecked most of the San Francisco Bay area. In 1997, McGwire was traded to the Cardinals where he finished his career. In 1998, he set the then single season home run record with 70, obliterating the previous mark set by Roger Maris of 61 in 196. Three years later Barry Bonds blow McGwire out of the water by hitting 73. McGwire retired in 2001 due to injuries.

So there is McGwire facing the press, via telephone, talking to AP only. Nothing says coming clean like hiding behind a phone in an undisclosed location. Who does he think he is Cheney?

The nuts and bolts are that Big Mac admitted he used steroids throughout the 1990’s but couldn’t remember when it began or when it ended. He was sorry for what he’d done and wished he hadn’t played in the steroid era. The ‘roids didn’t make him a better hitter. He called the Maris family and apologized. He didn’t want to lie in front of Congress but he had to protect his family. Then he gave the biggest load of horseshit anyone has heard since NBC told Conan – you’re our guy. “This has nothing to do with the Hall of Fame. This has to do with me coming clean, getting it off my chest, and five years that I’ve held this in.”

So many things to rip apart so little time.

Where was the apology to the sportswriters? In 1998, Associated Press reporter Steve Wilstein found the bottle of Androstenedione in his locker and he said it was a vitamin supplement. Whenever we broached the subject of Andro, a banned substance in the Olympics and NFL, McGwire would seem inflate himself, his uniform would rip from his overly pumped body and he would turn green. During one such occasion, he tore the head off St. Louis Post-Dispatch scribe Rick Hummel. It got better.

On March 17, 2005, McGwire, along with a few other steroid users went before Congress to lie about the abuse of ‘roids that was prevalent in baseball. McGwire, four years retired, told congress “I’m not here to talk about the past.” I guess he was there to say that he would no longer use the juice now that his career was over. How noble.

Wilstein reported at the time that McGwire, “looked like a guilty man trying to cover up.” He also did not believe that any home run records would be erased due to the scandal, but believed “the whole era will be tainted.” He called the hearings a “sham.”

Back to the phone conference…as for an excuse McGwire said, “During the ’90s I went to the DL seven times and missed 228 games over five years. I experienced a lot of injuries, including a ribcage strain, a torn left heel muscle, a stress fracture of the left heel, and a torn right heel muscle. It was definitely a miserable bunch of years, and I told myself that steroids could help me recover faster. I thought they would help me heal and prevent injuries, too.’’

It has been argued that steroids doesn’t help you become a better hitter, you still need hand and eye coordination. That’s true. But when I go elk hunting, I still bring a big game rifle and 700 Nitro Express cartridges to increase my odds.

After his -plagued seasons in the mid-1990’s when he started juicing full-time, McGwire’s HR production improved and the power was astronomical. From 1995-1999 he hit: 39, 52, 58, 70 and 65. And he wasn’t clearing the fence either. His shots, shown through the Hubble Telescope on SportsCenter, knocked down buildings across the street. One homer threw the Strela-2M satellite off its orbit.

His real motivation is the Hall. This past election season he got 23.7% of the vote, a mere 51.3% shy of induction. He is playing the only card left in his hand – contrition. If he kept denying the steroid claim, he would sit at 23-25% for the next nine years. Then the Veteran’s Committee would shun him due to the bright light shown on baseball’s dirty little secret. With this admission, McGwire probably gains 50-75 votes. That could get him above 35%. Goodwill and playing nice with the press could get him another 20 votes. Next thing you know he is approaching 50%. Then it’s just a waiting game.

Not that I am allowed to vote (see previous Memo) but he will never get mine. I hate to be a “do as I say and not as I do” type person, but my excessive drug use and immoderate alcohol consumption, while making me a much better writer, is not illegal, except in Snellville, GA. I don’t have to sign a morals contract with this two-bit blog. If writers ever had to, newspapers would be ads and nothing more. Trust me, even the religion columnist is a glue-sniffer who hangs around your town’s red-light district hoping not to stumble into a fellow churchgoer.

…is he crying?…

Come clean already you swine… who’s going to listen to a tainted hitting coach?

Ed Note: the last page of the Mojo wire is blurry as Duke didn’t use the IBM Selectric II typewriter provided at his insistence but went to hand written notes.

Hall doesn’t want him…

Writers won’t forgive so easily…

Maybe on the Veteran’s Committee in 13 years…

Why can’t I get a decent white Russian at these things?…

Hotel is lousy St. Louis RV Vacation & Travel Show, why couldn’t he do this in two weeks When the Auto Show is on town. More gas-guzzlers!

Baseball off the field 2010 weird craziness…

Who’s next? Palmeiro, Bonds, Sosa and Clemens will never give it up, cowards all.

-30-

Memo from the Sports Desk: Baseball Hall of Fame

Ed. note: Neil Millman will no longer be blogging about sports. While he may be a good at movie reviews, whining about cell phone users or wanting to stay an easy-going 28-years-old, he cannot handle the sports beat, at all. He tried it on this blog twice and both times came off like 6^th grader who just repeated the cafeteria menu.

I met Millman in 1985. He was studying Journalism and on the verge of being sent back to Rogers Park like a pothead who came back empty handed in Amsterdam. I gave him a few pointers: how to interview an athlete, where to find a good bookie at the hotel bar and how to sneak a co-ed out of your room at 7:30 am. I gotta admit, he didn’t learn a fucking thing. In fact, I filled him full of amyl nitrite and sent him on a trip to find a Cigar Bar in Evanston, IL, then I disguised myself as him and took the final so he passed Enterprise Reporting. It wasn’t my proudest moment but I had to get the little shit off my back. If you care, there is a place at 640 Lincoln St. that has a great smoking lounge.

From now on, I will handle sports. Carry on mortals.

Raoul Duke Jr.

It’s time for the ultimate ritual of acceptance bestowed by the media to a bunch of people who play a child’s game for a living – Baseball Hall of Fame balloting. As a sportswriter, I should be allowed to vote. That honor was taken away at the 1991 Hall of Fame Ceremony after I told Peter Gammons that his “niece” looked a too young to be gobbling that many hallucinogenics at one time. Later that night, Fergie Jenkins and I were caught in downtown Cooperstown walking in something resembling loincloths carrying machetes looking for the deviant who voted for Burt Hooton.

Even if those festering maggots of the Baseball Writers of America won’t let me vote, I can still give my opinions on the matter and if they disagree, I still have the machete in the fortified compound.

Last year, two former players were inducted, the deserving Jim Rice and the self-referential Ricky Henderson. Just missing the cut were Andre “The Hawk” Dawson, Bert “Be Home” Blyleven, Lee “The Big Black Bitch” Smith and others who don’t have as colorful nicknames. Except for Mark “I’m Not Here to Talk About The Past” McGwire. They are all eligible this year too.

The new class consists of: Roberto “The Spitter” Alomar, Kevin Appier, Ellis Burks, Andrés “The Big Cat” Galarraga, Pat Hentgen, Mike Jackson, Eric Karros “Matic,” Ray Lankford, Barry Larkin, Edgar Martinez, Fred “The Crime Dog” McGriff, Shane Reynolds, David Segui, Robin Ventura “Highway” and Todd “Good Housekeeping” Zeile. (I still owe that blowhard Chris Berman from 1985. I was the only one irrational enough to take his bet on Villanova beating Georgetown. I even gave him 6.5 points.)

I have always been a stats guy and I won’t let the fact that one of the newbies took me moose hunting with dynamite during the 1993 World Series move me one way or another. As I see it, two contenders from the new class and two from the previous year’s class deserve mention.

Of retired pitchers with the most strikeouts eligible for the Hall, Bert Blyleven has 3701 and is 5^th all-time, ahead of other HOF members: Tom “Terrific” Seaver, Don Sutton, Gaylord Perry, Walter “Big Train” Johnson and Phil “Knucksie” Niekro. He is 9^th in career shutouts and only 29^th in career walks. What’s keeping Blyleven out are his wins, or lack thereof. He does not possess the magical 300, like those luminaries listed above. He sits at 287, which is plenty close but apparently not enough. He has however, more wins than HOF members: Robin Roberts, Fergie Jenkins, Jim Palmer, Carl Hubbell and Juan Marichal. Contributing to his exclusion are: 250 losses which is 10^th all-time, only one 20-win season, seven seasons with 15-loses or more, 22^nd in runs allowed and he played on teams that would have trouble beating the winner of the Clarendon Park 16” softball league. Blyleven’s most daring move was flipping off a live TV camera. That alone should get him in the Hall. It needs more guys like him; he would fit in with the other reprobates from an earlier era. The time has come and Blyleven is on my ballot.

Andre Dawson was one of the most feared hitters of his day. He won the MVP in 1987 with 49 homers and 137 RBI’s, when those stats meant something, playing on the cellar-dwelling Cubs. He hit 20 or more homers in 13 of his 21 seasons, collected 2774 hits, 438 homers and 1591 RBI’s. He was an eight-time All-Star and Gold Glove Winner. He is one of six players with 300 homers and stolen bases. He is one of three in the 400 homers and 300 steals club. He struck out more than 100 times in a season only three times. I was in the press box when The Hawk was intentionally walked five times in a game; it could have been drunken delirium. While I don’t remember the game, Dan Pompeii told me I barked at the Wrigley Field Courtesy Hostess, “I don’t care if it’s past the 7^th inning; the bar at Cubby Bear is still open. Walk across the street you vile creature.” Where was I? The Hawk deserves enshrinement and is on my ballot.

Now for the new class, with all due respect to the BBWA, have you been huffing dry cleaning fluid? Some of these guys spent more time on the DL than they did with any one team. One guy was listed on the Mitchell Report. To call this class woeful would be an insult to the word.

The two of merit are Roberto Alomar and Barry Larkin.

Robby Alomar had a great career: .300 BA, 2724 hits, 474 steals and 10 Gold Gloves. He played on two WS championships and was a 12-time All-Star. He has three more hits than Lou Gehrig and eight fewer than Tony Perez, both in the Hall. His one blemish is as big as that thing that was on Groby’s head. In a game in 1996, he argued about the strike zone, didn’t like the call, spit on the umpire and then claimed he did it because the ump hurled a racial slur at him. Alomar was later suspended then apologized, in that order. That event should not be overlooked nor should his stats. I say give him another one-year suspension and induct him next year or the year after.

Next up is Barry Larkin who is a curious case. He had an above average career on the field, .295 BA and 2340 hits, great stats for a middle infielder. He was a 12-time All-Star, won three Gold Gloves and one MVP. He would have one more but he played at the same time, position and league as Ozzie Smith. Larkin played all 19 seasons with his hometown team, the Cincinnati Reds, which is unheard of nowadays. Last things in his favor are he won the Lou Gehrig Award and the Roberto Clemente Award. If there was ever a role model for a solid citizen in baseball, it is Larkin. The knock against him is injuries. He was injured a lot. He played 150 games or more four times in his career. To get Larkin inducted we have to look at how he did compared to other shortstops residing in Cooperstown, I have to look at how he stacks against other shortstops in the Hall. In all cases, Larkin is right in the middle of them. Eight highest in average, 10^th in hits and fifth in steals. I gotta say he deserves it but not on the first ballot. He is not Honus Wagner or Cal Ripkin or Luke Appling, making him a first ballot Hall of Famer puts him in that category. Like everyone on Clark and Addison says around June 15^th, “Wait till Next Year.”

Martinez, McGriff and Burkes deserve some consideration but will likely find themselves on the wrong end of 50% well below the mandatory 75% to get in the Hall.

Lastly, there is the case of Mark McGwire. His stats are amazing: 583 homers, 1414 RBI’s .394 OPB, .588 SLG, most homers two times both leagues, led his league four times in slugging percentage, 12-time All-Star, World Series champion and 1987 Rookie of the Year. You can easily make favorable comparisons to Hall of Famers Harmon Killebrew and Willie McCovey. The one thing that cannot be ignored is his alleged use of steroids. Though not proven that he juiced, just as Babe Ruth was never a proven fall–down drunk, he has been implicated in Jose Canseco’s book, he refuses to answer any questions about steroids and his involvement in “performance-enhancements” and he has admitted to taking a substance banned by the NFL and the IOC. Then of course, there was his performance before Congress where he stated he wanted to talk about the future and not the past. Rather than call him out on his statements, Congress lined up to bask in the aroma of his jock. Thankfully, the BBWA has manned up and have not even come close to voting for him. Once in a while my brethren of the Fourth Estate can do something right, other than paying their tabs when called. Big Mac hasn’t gotten more than 25% each of his first three years of eligibility and I doubt that will change.

Next year isn’t the worst thing for some of these guys. Only two players jump out with stats certain for enshrinement: Jeff Bagwell and Rafael Palmeiro. Bagsy’s numbers are close; he was a feared hitter and a decent guy. Palmeiro collected 3,020 hits and 569 homers. In March of 2005, he told Congress “I have never used steroids, period.” Five months later, he was suspended for testing positive for steroids. Cazart!

The announcement comes at 2:00 pm EDT. I will be watching it live at Highland Tap with Fergie’s number on speed dial. If my choices don’t get in, we may have to suit up and go out on patrol this summer.

-30-

The Aughts

Much has been written about the decade:

• What should we call it?
• How will it be defined?
• What will we remember?
• Who is the person of the decade?
• What is the legacy?

I can’t answer all those questions; I can try answer to what we should call it. The 1970’s were the “Me Decade.” The 1980’s were the “Al Franken Decade.” The 1990’s were the “Grunge Decade.” Now the Aughts or the Zero’s or the Single Digits are leaving and I say let the door hit you on the ass as you depart.

Time magazine recently named it the “Decade From Hell” and “Worst Decade Ever.” This has prompted lawsuits for obvious plagiarism from Richard Lewis and Comic Book Guy.

When I think back at the big events of the 2000’s one thing becomes clear, I want to forget them. Both personally and globally, the decade was filled with disasters, economic ruin, corporate bankruptcies, unemployment, shitty music, catastrophes, unfettered greed by corporate executives, unending wars and the general destruction of the everything that seemed solid about 10, 20 or even 50 years ago.

In 2003, New York City based band The Strokes, released an album called “Room on Fire.” The first song, “What Ever Happened” had the opening lines “I want to be forgotten, and I don’t want to be reminded.” That could describe the whole damn decade. It sums up how a lot of people felt in the aftermath of the most horrific event to happen on US soil (Bush’s stealing of the election of 2000?), the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. I know that after a certain point, I got sick of seeing the footage. Who needs to be reminded daily that we were attacked and 2995 people died for the crime of going to work on a gorgeous sun-filled New York City morning?

Who wants to remember things like: the dot.com bubble, hanging chads, 9/11, the economic collapse, Katrina, Reality TV, the futility of the first year of the Obama Administration, the 204 Tsunami, Enron, Bernie Madoff, the economic destruction of Detroit, John and Kate, the numerous bailouts that helped no one who needed help, every sports star on steroids, the wars that won’t end in this decade or the next or the next etc?

Then there is the Bush presidency. We will be feeling the effects of that baffled, addle-pate’s mismanagement of the country for the rest of our lives. If anyone put a thumbprint on this decade, it was he.

Personally, my most hated imbecile of the decade is not W. I dare not mention his name but it rhymes with Beve Startman. (No way am I including that video. It’s still too painful.)

There were shining moments personally and globally including: my running a second marathon, re-connecting with my religion, the Cubs had five winning seasons; made the playoffs three times and won a playoff series in front of me for the first time in 95 years, The Sopranos, seeing my nieces and nephews grow up even though they promised not to, Facebook, my blog, the election of someone we thought could make positive change and the rise of the Internet.

Perhaps we should call it the China decade? As this decade collapses (literally) in to the next, China is the wealthiest nation on earth. They have the most people. They have the largest military. They control the world’s economy. The US alone owes China almost $1 trillion dollars. Just about everything we as American consumers buy is made in China. During the Cold War we left China alone and focused on the real threat of war with the USSR, maybe we should have paid a little more attention to China, which as any North Carolina High Schooler can tell you, is located east of Russia.

I remember reading an editorial in 1999 by a writer, I forgot whom, stating the new millennium was a do over. We should forget what happened previously and start anew. A new millennium was the ideal way to begin again, however, the following 10 years were our worst fears coming to fruition. We should not forget that they happened but to quote Declan Patrick MacManus, “Let’s talk about the future now we’ve put the past away.”

What should we call it? I propose the “Decade to Forget” Do we really want to remember all the bad things? Whilst I researching this piece I went to Wikipedia and all they listed were the tragedies. Things like terror, nuclear threats, wars, etc.

I say to the Aughts, “Go, and never darken my towels again.”

##

Belated birthday wishes to my niece Emily. Last year she grew her hair for 18 months, cut it off and gave it to Locks of Love. Would it have killed her to send a few thousands strands my way?

Christmas in Chicago

When I was a kid every Christmas meant we got to see three great videos on Garfield Goose: Hardrock, Coco and Joe, Suzy Snowflake and Frosty the Snowman.  WGN stopped showing them in the early 1980’s as Frazier Thomas was made the ringmaster at Bozo’s Circus and Gar and the gang moved their home. The Christmas videos stopped being played for some reason. Then they sat in a vault unseen for ages. In 1992 the Museum of Broadcast Communications transferred the videos from 1/2-inch to 1/4-inch tape. In addition, patrons could go to the museum and watch them. That December I went down to the museum to see get re-acquainted with these old videos.

Back then to see them it was like borrowing microfilm from the library (anybody?). I had to surrender my driver’s license and they sent me to a tiny desk with a monitor no bigger than your typical laptop and a pair of headphones that looked like something John Lomax used in the 1930’s when he was recording Robert Johnson. Sitting there a tape played with the videos I hadn’t seen in 10 years or so. I felt like a kid again. The scary thing was that I remembered all the words. It’s odd how I can recall the words to songs I haven’t heard in a decade. yet I can’t remember when the last time I changed the battery on the smoke detector. (Just kidding, I disconnected that thing the day I moved in.)

In 1998, WGN aired a show called Bozo, Garfield and Friends. The three videos were shown again on television in beautiful mono. Thanks to the “Internets” and You Tube, I can watch them when ever I want and I do.

If you are from Chicago, these videos will make you smile and think of a simpler time. If you have kids and you show it to them they will say, “Mom that is the lamest thing I have ever seen.” If you are not from Chicago these videos may not make sense to you and you will say, “Hey Neil, no one cares about your childhood.”

My Christmas gift to you are the videos I watched on a console set as a kid in Rogers Park.

Enjoy your holidays, what ever they may be. I will still be blogging the next two weeks so check back often and thanks for reading. Oh, Happy Festivus!

It’s a Hanukkah Miracle Bigger than the Oil Lasting Eight Days

Several legitimate news outlets are reporting that the Cubs have traded (insert adjective here) OF Milton Bradley to the Seattle Mariners for (insert adjective here) P Carlos Silva. This brings to end the 343-day tenure of Milton Bradley as a Cub. Perhaps one of the worst of all-time.

Bradley has been with seven teams in his 10-year career and six teams in the past five years. His departure from each club brought much rejoicing from each team’s fans.

Bradley’s start with the Cubs was troubled. GM Jim Hendry traded beloved 2B/3B/1B/RF/LF Mark DeRosa and 11-game winner P Jason Marquis in a salary dump to sign the overpriced Bradley. In a pre-season interview, he admitted he was a sensitive to criticism from fans and media alike. Apparently, in his mind, we were not to cause him to be overly emotional or he would be psychologically unstable. Cub fans and media, he felt, were putting too much pressure on him. I guess he had a point; after all, it had only been 101 years since we won a World Series and he was being paid $10 million this year to make that happen.

Bradley started the slowly and then bumped an umpire, causing him to receive the more than fair two-game suspension, About this time he had a closed door meeting with Hendry encourage him to have better relations with media. This had a positive effect as Bradley soon stated, “I don’t particularly like the media, and the media doesn’t like me. So let’s not pretend we’re buddies or you’re trying to do anything for me. If anything you hurt me more than help. So I don’t see any benefit of really talking to the media. That’s just how I feel. That’s how I’ve always felt.”

Meanwhile Bradley was hitting less than my weight; which is particularly bad since I weigh about 145.

June was when the true Bradley started to come out, the one the Cubs shelled out all that money for in hopes of making all my dreams finally come true. I got my first look at MB when the Cubs came to Atlanta to play in Wrigley Field South. Bradley was greeted with massive boos. The few Brave fans at the games weren’t happy to see him either. A few days later, Bradley made the biggest on-field blunder of the season. On June 13, Bradley caught a routine fly-out in left field and then threw the ball into the stands as a souvenir for some fan. All well and good but the ball he threw into the stands was out number two. As a result, the runners were allowed to advance two bases each. At the end of the month, Bradley and manager Lou Piniella got into a heated conversation and had to be separated. Lou told MB to go home. After the game Lou addressed the media saying, “This has been a common occurrence and I’ve looked the other way a lot and I’m tired… I’m not into discipline, I’m really not. I’m going to put his name in the lineup tomorrow and that’s it.”

After the incident, Bradley started to hit a little. He was no Jake Fox, a minor leaguer we brought up who was killing the ball in AAA and had a respectable half-season, but at least he was starting to produce.

In August, Bradley claimed that the fans were hurling racial insults at him. He even blamed waiters at restaurants for talking about him. His relationship with the team, fans and media was worsening. Lou moved him up to 2^nd in the order and he was hitting at a good clip.

On September 19, with the Cubs way out of it Bradley shot his mouth off again stating; “And you understand why they haven’t won in 100 years here, because it’s negative.”

Hendry finally did his Popeye imitation and said, “That’s all I can stand, I can’t stands no more” and suspended Bradley for the remainder of the season for conduct detrimental to the team. After the suspension, the Cubs went on a wining streak.

As Harry would say, here are the unhappy totals on Milton Bradley’s Cub career: .257 batting average, 12 home runs, 40 RBI, .378 OBP. He was below his career stats in every category, except boorishness, which he exceeded every expectation.

NBC’s Dilemma or 2003 Re-visited

About six years ago NBC was sitting pretty. They still had Frasier, The West Wing, Friends, Will & Grace, ER, three Law & Order shows and two Dateline shows. They also had a new show called The Apprentice; it was huge. NBC was sitting pretty in primetime and late night could not have been better. Jay Leno was enjoying his eighth straight year as late night king and Conan O’Brien was setting ratings records for his time slot. Then the dominoes started to teeter a little. O’Brien’s contract was up and NBC was forced to make a decision that would change their future though how they did not quite know.

Twelve years earlier, they faced the same decision. NBC learned from that debacle and would not make the same mistake twice. They signed O’Brien to a long-term contract and promised him the Tonight Show, the crown jewel in all of late night television. They told Leno that he would leave in five years time. Leno signed off on it and accepted graciously.

David Letterman licked his chops and waited out the five years at CBS knowing full well that NBC never holds up their end of a contract. He also was rooting for O’Brien since Dave vs. Conan head to head would be a win for his CBS show.

As the Leno retirement date approached, Jay decided he wasn’t ready to leave quietly and started entertaining offers from ABC and FOX. This panicked NBC. Could they afford to lose Jay and thus have him go against Conan? Should they dump Conan and have him defect to ABC? Then there was a little thing Conan had written into his contract. If he was not the host of the Tonight Show on May 29, 2009, NBC owed him $45 million. The joke was on Conan, NBC didn’t have $45 million.

On December 28, 2008, NBC signed Leno to a four-year $20-30 million contract that would give him a show to be developed airing in prime time. Conan would get the Tonight Show and Jimmy Fallon was safe as the newly installed host of Late Night.

Here we are about three months in to Leno’s new show and Conan on the Tonight Show. NBC’s gambles have been a disaster.

What will be the next step is Comcast decision as they recently bought a 51% stake in NBC from GE.

Leno’s show is inexpensive to produce compared to the dramas it replaced. That is the selling point and redeeming quality of the show. It can survive low ratings due to the low production costs.

From the outset, NBC stated that if The Jay Leno Show gets a national 1.5 rating they can make $300-million gross profit. Currently, Leno is right at the 1.5 mark but has dipped below 1.3 overall last week.

The main difference between late night and prime time is appointment television. The Jay Leno Show is not appointment TV. Grey’s Anatomy is. People watching Jay are watching because there is nothing better on another network. As a result, Jay is not getting A-List guests. Next week Jay has: James Cameron, Christina Applegate, Nick Lachey, Sigourney Weaver, John Mayer, Sam Worthington, Mary J. Blige, Glenn Beck and Kate Gosselin. Three of the guests are plugging the next giant blockbuster, “Avatar.”

Not all of it is Leno’s fault. NBC has one show in the top 20, Sunday Night Football. His lead-ins suck. How can he get decent numbers when NBC can’t put any weekday show into the top 20? As a result of these horrible lead-ins, Leno can’t raise his ratings, local NBC News is dying and Conan’s ratings are dead.

I think I am more qualified to speak on this than most media experts do for two reasons. As you can see below, I have known Jay Leno since 1982. In addition, I interned at NBC Chicago in 1987, I know intimately how they work.

Here is what they are faced with:

If NBC decides they have had enough of Jay and his low ratings they can cancel the show however, they do not have any other shows in the hopper to take Leno’s place. They can instantly move the current 9:00 pm dramas 10:00 pm. That still leaves a hole on Thursday nights, once the sole property of NBC. They would have to add Dateline NBC to fill in a few gaps or move a few of the USA shows to NBC (USA and NBC are part of Universal/Vivendi, parent company of NBC.) Then they could ramp up production to get something new on the air when the Olympics end in late-February.

Jay has a buyout in case his show is cancelled and he is not put back into the Tonight Show slot. (More on that later). If he is not put back at 11:30, ABC will be glad to welcome him with open arms. They have even lifted the ban on ABC stars appearing on his show.

Jay is 59-years-old, putting him back in the Tonight Show would be a short-term solution. He cannot be the hip guy at that time in his mid-60’s. In addition, his demo is old enough already, the late night audience is young and Leno is not.

If Leno goes back to the Tonight Show, what happens to Conan? He gets paid yo! He has a $25-million buyout. As has already been demonstrated, NBC does not buyout contracts. I do not think NBC would pay Conan to leave, he is 46-years-old and will go to ABC, where he can be on the air for 20-years.

When Leno does call it quits who would take over the Tonight Show? Conan will be gone. Jimmy Fallon? He is not ready nor will he be. NBC has few options for the future of late night.

The key year is 2012. The Mayans said it would be the end of the world and for NBC it might be. That year will be a seismic shift in late night. Letterman’s current CBS deal expires in 2012, he will be 65-years-old and will have been on late night for 30 years, the same number as his idol Johnny Carson. Who else has a deal expiring in 2012? Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart. The cable network is owned by Viacom, the same owners of CBS. In 2012, Stewart will be 49; he may be too old for the Daily Show. He may even be too old to host the Late Show. If he does get that prime gig, he will host it for 10-15 years. Plenty of time for the next hot young comic to be discovered.

Unless CBS signs Conan, if he is dumped in favor of Jay. If that were the case, Conan would be in a holding pattern or two years. His exposure on CBS would be limited to hosting specials in prime time.

My take is that NBC will pay Leno to leave, probably the same $25-million as Conan, the difference is Leno has fewer options. There is no place for him at NBC but hey, thanks for your 20+ years of service.

As for NBC, it is back where they started in 2003.

For those of you lighting up this weekend, Happy Hanukkah.

Negiversaires

Today is the negiversary of the saddest day of my teenage years – John Lennon was murdered 29 years ago this evening.

What is a negiversary? The commemoration of a negative anniversary e.g.: 9/11, Pearl Harbor, Kennedy Assignation or the day you first wore leggings.

We now treat dates of tragedy with the same devotion as birthdays. Why don’t we celebrate John’s birth? Maybe because births are an abstraction while tragedy is a shared experience

I hate it when I hear that John Lennon died or passed away. It’s the same with RFK, MLK and JFK. Those phrases sound peaceful, how John died was hardly peaceful. He just left a recording studio and was walking back into the Dakota apartment building when a lone gunman, who claimed to be a fan, shot him in the back four times. I won’t mention his name because he doesn’t deserve it. Lennon died 30 minutes after the shooting. Then the most surreal sight in television history happened –

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gcdz1IRVoM

I was 16-years-old and watching that telecast when I heard the news (oh boy). I turned on the radio, my best friend and the place where I first met John; the Loop (WLUP-FM) was playing John’s music with and without the Beatles.

The next morning, Steve and Garry, Loop morning jocks at the time, refused to play any of his music, because they said it was too soon. I heard Terri Hemmert on WXRT-FM crying on the air. I had never heard a jock outwardly show that kind of sadness, I doubt I ever will. The full banner headline in the Chicago Tribune read: EX-BEATLE LENNON SLAIN.

I didn’t want to go to school that day, no one did. When I got there, the place was quiet. There was no laughter in the halls. No talk of upcoming holiday break. No one asking to look at John Goritsas’s homework. The teachers actually came out of their sacred place, the teacher’s lounge, to hang out with us kids. We all shared stories and memories of Lennon and the Beatles. We talked about his music and his call for peace. In the middle of the Cold War, the prospect of peace was just as far-flung as it is today.

With the Beatles, you always felt they were yours alone. On that day, I learned how they and John belonged to everyone; from 16-year-old non-conformist troublemakers, to the prehistoric 35-year-old teachers. On that day, we all lived in a Yellow Submarine.

On the following Sunday there was a memorial at Cricket Hill in Lincoln Park. My buddy Jeff Bramson and I were going to go but it was too cold. We could see it from the apartment of his mother and we stuck our heads out the window to watch. The hill disappeared under a sea of people. It was estimated at 4,000 people. (FOX said it was fewer than 15 while MSNBC said it was 38,000,000.) All were bundled up in winter coats and carrying candles. There was ten minutes of silence, as John’s wife Yoko Ono requested. Then you could hear the crowd singing “Give Peace a Chance.”

When I was younger, so much younger than today, my favorite Beatle was Paul, he was the cute one and I wanted to be. Paul was a gifted musician and accessible. Later on, John became my favorite. He was difficult, brooding and thoughtful. He became the anti-thesis of the moptop he once embodied. John evolved, more than the others did. Every other musical influence I had in my life after the Beatles (Todd Rundgren, Alex Chilton, Elvis Costello, Paul Weller, Joe Strummer, Paul Westerberg, Kurt Cobain and Julian Casablancas) can draw a straight line to John Lennon.

Outside of my parents, and after their message stopped being relevant, John Lennon was my biggest personal influence.

I never made the pilgrimage to the Dakota where John was shot; I have never even been to New York. I did go to England and took a tour of Liverpool. There I saw the Art School where he met Stuart Sutcliffe. I stayed in a hotel where he used to dress as a vicar and sweep the sidewalks.

I had a pint in a pub across from the Art School, Ye Cracke, where John described is education thusly “When I went to Art College in Liverpool…it was mainly one long drinking session.”

I toured 10 Mathew St, the most famous address in rock and roll.

Lastly, I spent an afternoon in the schmaltz Beatles Museum, on the Albert Dock. The final room is all white with open windows in the back. There is a grand piano in the middle. On top is a picture of John playing said piano and a pair of his specs, the famous granny glasses. One song plays repeatedly, “Imagine.”

Of course I went to Abbey Road studios, where all the Beatles albums were recorded and one, “Revolver” opened my mind when I was 13-years-old.

For me, the greatest tragedy was John was starting over. He was in near seclusion for four years. A few months before his murder, he released a mellow, thoughtful album. He was starting over.  That being said, he was giving interviews and speaking out. Just as I was becoming more politically aware it seemed as though the best weapon we had was coming back to take his rightful place. He was going to give me some truth. He would to get us through the Reagan years that were to come. He was going to stand-up during the first and second Iraq War. He was going to help get Mandela released. He sure as hell would stand by me while W. hijacked the country. He would have gotten us through the tragedy of 9/11 in person. All the things Bono has become, John Lennon was.

It was 29 years ago today that John was taken from us. It still affects me. I think about the great music he left us. I think about his wife who never got to grow old with him. I am sad for his beautiful boy who grew up without a father, just like John did. I think of all of us who were moved by his words. Lastly, I imagine all the people living life in peace. Sadly, 29 years ago today, John got his wish; the world lived as one but for the wrong reason.