My ideal age

12 November 2009

In response to my blog post about age, my friend Nancy asked, “You’d really want to pick an age and stay that way? What age would that be?”

That is a conundrum because certain times in my life have been better than other times. Would I want to repeat the time or just the age and all that goes with it? For example, I enjoyed most of 2008 especially the Cubs but I had some employment and personal turmoil. So I would not want to re-visit being 43-years-old.

The age I would stick with is 28-years-old. I have included a picture of me at that age, thanks to Dan and Marla Callestein. Look how happy I was. Look at how much hair I had. Funny story about that day, it was the final ‘Mats show, Marla lost a bet with me regarding architecture and because of that day, Dan and Marla are still married.

NM 281

Here’s why I want to be and stay 28-years-old.

You are still young in the grand scheme of things. Sure, the hair may be thinning but everything else works well. It’s the last even year prior to 30. Once you hit 30, you are supposed to be serious about things. Life, marriage, career, saving for retirement all that “adult” stuff.

Another advantage of being 28 is that you made it past Club 27 (Jimi, Janis, Jim, Jones, Johnson, Cobain and Pigpen to name a few of the members). Trust me that is huge. I don’t know of any guy who when they turned 27 didn’t think, “This could be it.” Making it to 28 is much bigger than hitting 30.

The year that you stop getting carded is 28. You finally look old enough to be in the bar drinking. It also helps that your beverage taste greatly improves at 28.

The first 10 years of your drinking career is spent getting as much beer into your system as quickly as possible. It’s not even good beer. The swill I drank when I was 21-24 was usually: Busch, Milwaukee’s Best, Coors, Bud and Augsburger. They all had two things in common; they were cheap and accessible. Jewel and Dominick’s had an unending supply. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a liquor store.

The epiphany happened when I was 23-years-old and interning at Channel 2 in Chicago. I was at a party at a bar on Rush St. and John “The Bulldog” Drummond saw me drinking some watered down horse-piss. He ambles up to me and gets me a glass, not a shot, of Wild Turkey. He says, “Bourbon, more bang for the buck.” Then he urges me to down the glass. I woke up in Northwestern Hospital with a new titanium plated throat having scorched my original one. I have been on Southern Comfort ever since. The only time I drink beer is watching sports at the event or a pub.

What else happens at 28? You figure out the dames. The previous 16 years are just practice and speaking for myself, my practices were lousy. If there were a coach involved, I would still be running laps. From 12-28, nothing goes right. I could not understand what they wanted, other than they didn’t want me. When I did close the deal, it was like driving a car made from another planet. Everything I did caused it to stall. Something happens at 28. You slow it down, you pick your spots and suddenly you find your zone.

Physically, at 28 a man starts to reach his peak. You can run farther, lift more and you don’t get tired out. This is important because all your friends will soon be moving and they will be asking you for help. In addition, you can do lots of physical things and you don’t get hurt. After 28, you start to be more careful in your decisions regarding sports and such.

Here are some random things:

  • You are still 12 years away from the doctor’s “exam.”
  • You can still make “youthful mistakes.”
  • You can’t run for president or the US senate.
  • You can drive a cool car and doesn’t seem like a douche move.
  • You can date a college girl and it’s thought of as an accomplishment and not creepy.
  • You can travel aimlessly across the country or Europe and chalk it up to wanderlust.
  • You can not work in your field and it doesn’t hurt you “long term goals.”
  • You can work on your “long term goals.”

There it is, I wanna be 28 again and stay that way without losing my physical and mental capacities.

Care to chime in? Let ‘er rip.

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One Response to “My ideal age”

  1. Dan Callistein Says:

    First, that’s a great picture.
    Second, 28 is when I got married…and for me, that was quite an accomplishment. There is something nice about that number, so I think I agree with you.Although part of me really liked 23, which, for me, was my last year of college. I had figured women out, could drink all night long, had very little responsibility, and felt like the world and future was all mine…
    Third, what’s the right link for this blog, so’s I can get to it on my own?


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